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Here’s the “Twin Peaks” Character You Would be Based on Your Zodiac Sign

"The owls are not what they seem."

We are counting down the days until the return of Twin Peaks. The show, which became a cult classic despite being canceled after just two seasons, will release the first two episodes of its hotly anticipated third season on May 21 at 9PM EST on Showtime.

The 18-part limited event series revisits the strange and mysterious town of Twin Peaks twenty-five years after the murder of Laura Palmer. As obsessives await a fresh glimpse of their favorite Twin Peaks character–and hopefully see beloved Agent Cooper drink many more cups of damn fine coffee at the Double R–we got to thinking about which iconic TP inhabitant best embodies each sign of the zodiac.

Are you a cool and collected Agent Cooper or a manipulative BOB? Read on to find out which Twin Peaks character is your twin based on your zodiac sign.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21): Shelly Johnson

twin peaks characters shelly

You are generous and dependable: a great employee and friend. You’re unfailingly persistent in pursuing your dreams, even if you’ve been dealt a bad hand thus far. Just be careful if you ever try to cohabitate with your lover and vegetative psycho husband.

Related: The Eerie New “Twin Peaks” Trailer is Here

Gemini (May 22 – June 21): Laura Palmer

twin peaks characters laura

Everyone thinks they know the real you: your family, your friends, your boyfriend, your coworkers. And to a degree, they’re right: you are, indeed, lively and intelligent, with a variety of interests. Still, there is a whole other side to you, that few know about and even fewer get to see–and it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Deputy Andy Brennan

twin peaks characters andy

You might just be the most kind-hearted person in town: everyone knows you to be loving, trusting, and faithful. Your deep emotions are what make you so special, but try not to let them overpower you. Bursting into tears at a crime scene when you’re a deputy, for instance, is not a good look.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Leo Johnson

twin peaks leo

Confident and headstrong, you demand a lot from those around you. Try not to let your egotistical and possessive urges get the best of you, or you may just end up on the wrong side of quite a few bad situations.

Related: The Goodbar Murder: A Woman’s Fatal One-Night Stand

Virgo (August 23 – September 23): Special Agent Dale Cooper

twin peaks characters dale cooper

Reliable, observant, practical, and highly intelligent, there’s very little that can upset or confound you. You expect perfection in all things, including your coffee and cherry pie. Don’t be afraid to take the help that is offered to you, no matter how strange it might seem.

Libra (September 24 – October 23): Catherine Martell

twin peaks catherine martell

You know how to use your tact and charm to get the job done, no matter how seedy that job might be. Some may describe you as untrustworthy or unreliable—if they’re not completely smitten with you, that is.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22): BOB

twin peaks characters bob

You are a master manipulator, with an uncanny ability to read people as well as to totally dominate those around you, sometimes forcing them to do your bidding. Those who try and take you on do so at their own risk–yes, we’re talking to you, Agent Cooper.

Related: Here’s the “American Horror Story” Character You’d Be Based on Your Zodiac Sign

 Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21): James Hurley

twin peaks characters james

You’ve got a big heart, and it’s in the right place. Your inconsistency, though, can get you in to trouble, especially with those closest to you. Try to have a little more faith and patience in those around you—otherwise you may find yourself caught up in dangerous schemes.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20): The Log Lady

twin peaks log lady

You and your log may seem strange and withdrawn to some. Little do they know that you and your log know all.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19): Sheriff Harry S. Truman

harry twin peaks characters

You are friendly, loyal and committed to helping others. Sometimes the extremism of your convictions can lead you into trouble–especially in romantic situations.

Related: 14 Scary TV Shows on Netflix to Binge-Watch Right Now

Pisces (February 20 – March 20): Annie Blackburn

twin peaks characters annie

You are kind, sensitive, and compassionate, endearing yourself to those around you. You do, however, have a tendency to try and avoid your problems by running away from them, rather than facing them head-on.

Aries (March 21 – April 20): Audrey Horne

twin peaks characters audrey

Stubborn, impulsive and passionate, some may try to write you off as a harmless, scatter-brained beauty. Little do they know that courageousness is one of your defining qualities. Going undercover in a dangerous brothel run by your own father is small potatoes for someone like you.

All stills from Twin Peaks via Lynch/Frost Productions

Published on 15 May 2017

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