In 1947, Martha Beck, a single mother of two children, placed a lonely hearts ad in the newspaper. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, it’s basically how socially awkward people dated before apps were invented.
If that sounds harsh, please understand this article was written by the most socially awkward creature who’s ever graced the planet. I am currently on four different apps at the moment and each of those profiles features the same photo of me dressed like a psychotic Super Mario, which has surely sabotaged my chances of ever finding love, yet I refuse to delete the photo.
So yes. I’m allowed to poke fun at my own kind.
Also (spoiler alert), this lady literally went on to drown a baby. It’s okay to besmirch this particular individual.
But, uh, before the baby-drowning, she placed a lonely hearts ad, which was answered by a huckster named Raymond Fernandez. He intended to gain her trust enough to rob her, but something else happened. Love.
The two fell for each other so hard that Beck left her kids with the Salvation Army before joining him on a series of romance scams that would leave at least three people dead, although it’s suspected their body count might’ve reached up to twenty.
The scams typically involved Fernandez answering lonely hearts ads, seducing women into either moving into his home or letting him move in with them, always letting Beck tag alone pretending to be his sister.
The goal was to steal from these women, but…as these things often go, murder soon got in the way and slightly altered their plans.
They were terrible, cruel people, but also inspiration for some pretty great films. Let's take a look at them.
The Honeymoon Killers (1970)
Going into The Honeymoon Killers, you might think the biggest question you'll be left with is, "What kind of movie would this have been if Martin Scorsese hadn't been fired from the shoot?" Instead, all you can wonder is, “Holy shit, why didn't Leonard Kastle make more movies?”
Because oh man, this black-and-white gritty piece of cinema is honestly incredible. A transgressive little gem that I cannot recommend enough.
From the writer/director: "We wanted to do an honest movie about murders. These are not charming people. They are sleazy people—but fascinating. You won't come out of the theatre feeling sorry for the killers like in some movies. It is not romanticized."
Deep Crimson (1996)
Deep Crimson is a Mexican film inspired by the Lonely Hearts killers written by Paz Alicia Garciadiego and directed by Arturo Ripstein.
The story’s been relocated to Mexico and embraces a stronger noir vibe than The Honeymoon Killers. Lots of long shots. Very horny. Very sweaty. Very dark (and also sometimes funny).
Not as good as the 1970s film but still very much worth your time.
Lonely Hearts (2006)
This one feels sorta troubling to bring up, considering who’s cast as the Raymond Fernandez character—Jared Leto—and the many, many horrendous allegations that recently came out against the actor. Jared Leto has never been a pleasant presence in anything, and this movie is no exception.
The rest of the cast is kinda insane, though. Salma Hayek. Laura Dern. James Gandolfini. Scott Caan. John Travolta.
However, this movie is mostly terrible. The editing is abysmal and often feels like two separate movies sloppily cut into one. Do not watch this. (Or do, if you're a glutton for punishment.)
Alleluia (2014)
Do, however, watch Alleluia. This French retelling rivals The Honeymoon Killers as the best movie inspired by the Lonely Hearts Killers. It’s a whole goddamn mood.
Advertised as a “deadly odyssey amplified by wild sex, unbridled jealousy, and passionate forays into the dark arts,” that’s exactly what viewers can expect.
Out of all of them discussed in this article, I’ll also say Alleluia straddles the horror genre the closest. Buckle up.
