The Worst Person with Your Same Zodiac Sign

The head of Stalin’s notorious NKVD secret police, Lavrentiy Beria was described by one Redditor as “what you would get if you put a serial killer in charge of the FBI and told him to kill as many people as possible.”

In addition to overseeing countless murders, deportations, and instances of forced labor in his role as head of the secret police, he was also a serial rapist, who used his position of power to prey on numerous young women and girls. 

Born on March 29, 1899, Beria may not be as notorious as some of the other names on this list, but he’s still probably one of the worst examples of an Aries you can imagine. 

Historical figures don’t come much more famously awful than Adolf Hitler, the “Fuhrer” of Germany’s Nazi party, who oversaw the genocide of around 6 million European Jews, not to mention countless other atrocities. 

Unfortunately for all you Tauruses out there, Hitler was born on April 20, 1889, meaning that he manages to sneak in right on the cusp. Had he been born just a day earlier, the Aries folks would have been stuck with him, instead…

By as narrow a margin as Hitler was a Taurus, one of America’s most infamous serial killers was a Gemini. That was Jeffrey Dahmer, who began his trail of devastation when he was just 18 years old. Before he was stopped, he killed, sexually assaulted, and dismembered at least 17 men and boys. 

Perhaps the most notorious aspects of Dahmer’s case were his tendencies to preserve parts of his victims, sometimes subjecting them to acts of necrophilia or cannibalism after they were dead.

Not as well-known as some of the other names on this list, Shiro Ishii was the head of Unit 731, the secret biological and chemical warfare division of the Imperial Japanese Army. 

Under his command, Unit 731 not only created and deployed numerous biological weapons, they also conducted lethal human experimentation that killed an estimated 14,000 people through grisly acts such as vivisection, organ harvesting, intentionally infecting prisoners with deadly diseases, and more. 

Ishii was eventually granted immunity by the United States government in exchange for providing information about biological weapons. Born on June 25, 1892, Ishii (perhaps ironically) would have been a Cancer.

While Vlad the Impaler is the historical figure most famously associated with vampirism (we don’t know when he was born, so can’t say what his zodiac sign would have been), a close second is 16th-century Hungarian countess Elizabeth Bathory, who was convicted of torturing and killing more than 80 women and girls — and, according to some accounts, bathing in their blood. Unlike Vlad, we know when Countess Bathory was born: August 7, 1560, making her a Leo.

Thanks to his acts inspiring movies such as Psycho and the Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Ed Gein’s notoriety outshines his actual crimes. After all, while he confessed to killing two women, it was really his other activities — including grave robbing and making keepsakes from corpses — that fired the imagination of the country. 

Still, Gein continues to obsess us even today, with a recent semi-biographical crime series Monster: The Ed Gein Story starring Charlie Hunnam just the latest time that this infamous Virgo has made it onto screens both big and small.

It wasn’t Hiram Wesley Evans who relaunched the Ku Klux Klan in the 1920s, following its valorization in D. W. Griffith’s film Birth of a Nation – that was William Simmons. 

However, Evans took over the Klan from Simmons in 1922 and helped to usher the white nationalist organization to its greatest heights of political power — including leading a march of some 30,000 Klan members in Washington D.C. in 1926. 

A dentist by trade, Evans made a lucrative job out of running the Klan. He was born on September 26, 1881, making him a Libra.

If there is one name that is synonymous with serial murder in the minds of the American public, it is probably Charles Manson – leaving aside that, as far as we known, Manson didn’t actually kill anyone himself. 

As the head of the doomsday cult known as the Manson Family, however, he was convicted in connection with a number of high-profile murders, most famously the killing of pregnant actress Sharon Tate, then-wife of director Roman Polanski. Manson died in prison on November 19, 2017 — not long after his 83rd birthday, November 12, making him probably the world’s most notorious Scorpio.

One of America’s most infamous serial killers, Theodore Robert Bundy kidnapped, raped, and murdered more than 20 women and girls between 1974 and 1978, continuing to perform sex acts on their bodies after they were dead. 

The total number of his victims is unknown. One of his own defense attorneys called him “the very definition of heartless evil.” Born in Burlington, Vermont on November 24, 1946, Bundy was a Sagittarius.

Among the most prolific serial killers in modern history, Harold Shipman was an English doctor who is believed to have killed more than 250 of his patients across a 30-year period. 

He preyed primarily on elderly patients whose deaths wouldn’t look too suspicious, and typically killed them either by over-prescribing or over-administering drugs that they were already taking. 

While he died in prison in 2004, at the age of only 57, he was born on January 14, 1946, making him one of the most notorious Capricorns around. 

Perhaps no introduction need be made to Jeffrey Epstein, the former millionaire financier whose 2019 indictment and subsequent death uncovered one of the largest sex trafficking rings in history. 

While the full extent of his crimes remains unknown, buried in the only partially-released “Epstein files,” we know that he had cultivated a massive network of wealthy friends and public figures who benefited from — and may have abetted and participated in — his trafficking and sexual assault of countless girls and young women. 

Born January 20, 1953, Epstein was an Aquarius, though had he been born a day earlier he would have been a Capricorn.

More than twenty of John Wayne Gacy’s 33 known victims were found buried in the crawl space of his ranch-style house in a suburb of Chicago.

All young men and boys, the victims were typically lured into his home before being raped, tortured, and finally murdered, usually by asphyxiation or strangulation. Adding to Gacy’s creepy aura is the fact that he sometimes performed as a clown at children’s parties prior to his arrest. 

Born on March 17, 1942, Gacy was a Pisces. He was executed by lethal injection in 1994.

Featured image via Wikimedia.