New Fear Resolutions: A Slasher Fan’s Guide to Self-Improvement

He may be a man of few words and inscrutable motives, but if there’s one thing the Shape has going for him, it’s that he just keeps going.

The contours of his blank white mask may vary as wildly as the quality of the movie he’s in, but over the course of thirteen films (and counting), Michael has displayed a laser-focused determination that’s bad news if you’re a babysitter, but potentially admirable if you’re looking for a role model in resoluteness.

Nothing stands in his way, from the walls of the asylum where he’s incarcerated to the fact that no one ever taught him how to drive the car he’s stolen.

May we all approach our goals with the same relentlessness!

And speaking of Halloween…

Her friends may chide her for being too responsible, but by the end of the movie, who’s hanging upside down in a linen closet and who’s escaped with little more than a scratch (and some staggering PTSD)?

In Laurie’s own words, “the old Girl Scout comes through again,” and she manages it with little more than a knitting needle, an old wire hanger, and the killer’s own kitchen knife.

Don’t listen to those uncultured Haddonfield jabronis, Lauri —there’s no such thing as “too smart.”

With six Scream movies since the series’ 1996 debut and another on the way in early 2026, it’s safe to say there’s only one real constant when it comes to the franchise’s main villain: Ghostface could be anybody—except for the same person twice.

In every movie, a different character (or characters) dons the mask to cut a bloody swath through the rest of the cast.

You want to pigeonhole a villain like that? Good luck even figuring out who they are!

And in the age of encroaching AI, intentionally addictive social media, financial instability, and global political unrest, there’s definitely something to be said for that level of perpetual adaptability. 

Neve Campbell’s Sid launched the series with her definitive ‘90s final girl, and she’ll be back for the seventh installment — so what sets her apart?

Unlike some of her badass brethren, Sid decided pretty early on that she wasn’t going to be the kind of victim “who’s always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door” (although she does, in fact, do exactly that at one point).

Instead, she stakes her claim as the protagonist, a ballsy and nonchalantly feminist move that cements her status as a horror icon.

 When she’s warned that the villain is sure to come back to life for one last scare, Sid responds with a terse one-liner—“Not in my movie”—and a decisive bullet to the head.

Hero behavior all the way, and perfect energy to call upon if you need a confidence boost.

Sure, he’s one of the most sadistic slasher villains ever committed to celluloid, but here’s the thing about Art: He never stops clownin’ around.

Whether he’s destroying a public restroom in the most disgusting way possible in Terrifier, taunting nemesis Sienna Shaw in a costume shop in Terrifier 2, or donning a Santa suit to absolutely ruin everyone’s holiday season in Terrifier 3, he keeps his energy high and his attitude positive.

Art clearly delights in a job well done—it’s about the process, not the final product!—and as creators, isn’t that kind of satisfaction what we all ultimately strive for?

Lauren LaVera’s character is a recent addition to the pantheon of final girls, having only emerged in 2022’s Terrifier 2 to stand toe to toe with the deeply diabolical Art the Clown, but she more than earns her place in the slasher canon.

Most horror final girls are thrown into the fray with only the clothes on their backs, forced to improvise their way out of unthinkable situations; Sienna stands out by charging into battle like an avenging goddess in an epic costume of her own making (based on her late father’s design), complete with wings and a sword imbued with mysterious supernatural powers.

Despite the extreme violence she’s forced to contend with, she stands tall and never backs down from a fight. May her fierceness be a beacon for all of us in the coming months.