7 Holiday Movie Mysteries

It’s Christmas Eve, and rather than baking cookies for the man in red, children are disappearing and reindeer are being slaughtered. Settle in for some Finnish folklore in the form of a kinda-funny, kinda-scary, all-mysterious Christmas tale that kicks off with digging Santa out of the Korvatunturi mountains.

Itching to ditch the hordes of family members in ugly sweaters? Hit the road with Tom Cruise for Stanley Kubrick’s all-nighter filled with intrigue and designer panties, culminating in a massive orgy where the members are cloaked in hedonism but the only dress code is a freaky mask.

It’s easy to head to Bedford Falls, but there’s a Belgian commune more idyllic than a Norman Rockwell painting that’s begging for your attention. In writer/director Martin McDonagh’s tale of intrigue and blue humor, Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson play a couple of English hit men hiding out in Bruges.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is screaming loud for all to hear. Porky’s director Bob Clark helms the Canadian thriller that kicks comfort and joy in the chestnuts. Set in a sorority house, the film investigates the mystery of who’s making dirty NC17 prank calls.

One day she’s Susie Homemaker, the next she’s fluent in weaponry and ass-kicking. As flashbacks from her days as top-secret agent Charly Baltimore dance in her head, Geena Davis’s Samantha enlists Samuel L. Jackson’s Mitch Hennessey to help unravel her mysterious past — and stay alive.

Definitely make time for Ingmar Bergman’s epic saga, which was supposed to be his farewell to cinema. Though it’s technically a drama, there’s no denying the taut mysteries that lurk around every ghostly and gorgeously shot corner.

It’s Christmastime circa 2035. No one’s merry and nothing’s bright, thanks to a worldwide plague unleashed by a band of marching monkeys. Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, and Pitt’s wonky eyeball star in a sci-fi mystery thriller weirder than the contents of Aunt Bernie’s fruitcake.